i carry your heart with me
- by e.e. cummings
_____________________________

i carry your heart with me
(i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it
(anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear

no fate
(for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world
(for beautiful you are my world, my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

Checklist Item Crossed #14 — Buckingham Palace
8.30am – Woke up, almost late again. Took a quick shower, waited for Y to get ready; 9.30am – Trains still weren’t running from South Ealing, so we took the bus and a train from another station to St. James’ Park; 11am – Arrived at the Buckingham Palace, got a nice viewing spot….or so we thought….; 11.30am – Saw some guards marching past, including the cavalries. Took some pics of the procession as we saw the guards head towards the palace and entered the gates; 11.40am – Waited for the Changing of the Guards, took some pics of ourselves; 11.50am – Realized that the Changing of the Guards was actually taking place within the enclosed palace grounds instead of the spacious piazza we we stood waiting at….stupid!! 12pm – Walked to the palace gates, managed to get some lame shots of the guards in line. It was almost impossible to get a good view of the Changing of the Guards because the crowd that gathered around the row of gates to get a glimpse (GLIMPSE!!) of the event was so thick – we had to extend our arms above some people’s head to even take a lame pic of the guards, nevermind actually watching anything! 12.30pm – NOT impressed with the Changing of the Guards. Y and I decided to look for St. James’ Palace instead because my London Guidebook had said that visitors can take pics with the guards on duty outside the palace; 12.15pm – Could not find St. James Palace. Took some pics with Y at an unknown building instead.

My Best Shot

Checklist Item Crossed #15 — Embankment
1pm – Arrived at Trafalgar Square, took a train to Embankment. Linda, my ex-boss, insisted that I visit the gardens at Embankment when I travel to London, so there we were; 1.15pm – Discovered the comfort of Embankment’s park deck chairs. Apparently there was going to be an outdoor mini-concert later on, so the organizers were preparing the stage nearby; 1.45pm – Packed some lunch (I had Rice and Chili Con Carne, Y had some Chicken Curry thing) and headed back to the deck chairs at the park, on which we sat on while we ate and enjoyed an hour or so soaking up the Summer sun. Took more pics.

Me + Union Jack

Checklist Item Crossed #16 — Tower of London and Tower Bridge

Tower Bridge

2.15pm – Headed towards Tower Hill alone. Y and I parted ways because she had a colleague’s farewell picnic to attend later on; 2.45pm – Purchased my ticket to the Tower of London, watched a demo at the Siege exhibit; 3.30pm – Joined the Yeoman Warders tour of the Tower; 4.15pm – Checked out the Crown Jewels exhibit. That was impressive; 4.45pm – Checked out the Henry VIII: Dressed to Kill exhibition; 5.30pm – Tower closed for the day, walked out to see the Tower Bridge from a distance. Met Kim, a Korean girl, who helped take some pics of me with the Bridge and vice versa; 6pm – Kim and I walked to and along the Tower Bridge, took more pics. Too bad the Tower Bridge exhibition had closed for the day too.

Tower of London

Siege Exhibit

The White Tower

Checklist Item Crossed #17 — Hyde Park
7.15pm – Kim did not have any plans after visiting the Tower, so I invited her to follow me to Hyde Park — my last “Place-To-Visit” in London. She agreed. We arrived at Hyde Park after taking the train. I had an ice cream, while I waited for Kim to have her Hot Dog dinner; 7.45pm – Visited The Serpentine, Hyde Park’s famous lake. Oh, WOW….the view was absolutely breathtaking! Again, my camera battery had inconveniently died on me while visiting the Tower Bridge. Kim offered to take some pics of me with her DSLR camera and promised to email me once she got back to Korea a month later (I have yet to hear from her) Love Hyde Park, btw; 8.20pm – Kim and I parted ways. It was bad enough that the Piccadilly lines were closed, now the stupid train was not running past Hammersmith on District lines either. Took another train to NottingHill Gate where I had to change to the Central line instead; 9pm – Arrived at Ealing Broadway, took a bus back to South Ealing; 9.30pm – Arrived at Y’s place, checked my email, finished packing my stuff, took a shower, went to bed around midnight.

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Day 6 in London
Date: July 6, 2009

Leaving on a Jetplane
Y and I left her apartment early in the morning, she had to go to work while I was headed towards the London Liverpool St. Station, where I had to take the Stansted Express to the airport. I was leaving London for good. Y rode with me until Leicester Square and we bid goodbye when she had to get off. It had been a really fun trip and we had some nice times together. I arrived at Stansted Airport around 11am. Had a light lunch at one of the airport cafes and watched the RyanAir planes resting on the tarmac. I was to fly in one of those planes at anytime soon…..

1.50pm – Goodbye, London…

4.40pm – Hellooooo, Stockholm!!!

Checklist Item Crossed #11 — Buckingham Palace
A Change in Plans…
9.30am – Y woke me up. It’s a good thing she did or I would’ve overslept. I had planned to see the Changing of the Guards at Buckingham Palace that morning. I was already running late. Showered, got dressed, no time for breakfast! 10.10am – Got a bottle of Evian at the shop downstairs, walked to the Underground station….oh, crud. I forgot my Oyster Card. Walked back to the apartment; 10.20am – Arrived at the Underground station, topped up my Oyster Card, then found out that the train wasn’t in service due to railworks on the Piccadilly line (dammit). Took the bus to Hammersmith, chatted with a nice but talkative London-based Sudanese lady who had gotten on at South Ealing with me; 11.20am – Hm…too late to go see the Changing of the Guards now — it was due to start in 10-20 minutes. Decided to mooch around the shops at Hammersmith station for awhile, then took a train to Piccadilly instead.

Checklist Item Crossed #11/12 — Lillywhites @ Piccadilly Circus/ PRIDE London Parade, Regent Street
12.30pm – Looked for the Liverpool home jersey for Rina’s brother at Lillywhites, a sportswear store at Piccadilly Circus (it turned out to be a size too small for him when I took it back to KL…); 1.15pm – Finally finished shopping at Lillywhites, it started to drizzle outside. Saw a small crowd gathering by the roadside just outside the store and realized that I was standing along Regent Street and that the PRIDE London parade (that’s the Gay&Lesbian parade, if you didn’t know..) was going to pass through. Oh, yay! I thought I was going to have to miss the parade, I guess it was a good thing the Buckingham Palace plan didn’t fall through after all! Also, I was lucky to be one of the earlier ones to be there because I got to be right up front at the barricades instead of having to fight for a good view with the crowd that was gradually growing all around. I could feel the nice cool English wind brushing against my bare arms; 1.45pm – Still waiting. It had stopped drizzling and was getting a bit warmer — was still glad that it was still slightly windy. Nice weather today! Crowd growing bigger; 2.15pm – The PRIDE London parade had finally arrived. It was my first live parade of any kind ever; 2.45pm – The parade was AWESOME!!! I saw Boy George too!!! 3.30pm – Parade ended, I’ve managed to exhaust my camera battery, the film rolls of *BOTH* my manual Kodak cameras (that I had purchased at the London Eye a few days earlier) and the space on my SIM card *AND* phone memory, having taken 200+ pics at the parade alone(!). Took a train to South Kensington, then onwards to NottingHill Gate.

Boy George in the middle!!

10.15am – Woke up, showered, got dressed and had Cod fillets for breakfast…yummy. 11.30am – Left the house. Y had to go to the post office nearby. Bought a bottle of Evian and a pack of chocolates at the little grocery shop. 12.15pm – Reached South Kensington.

Checklist Item Crossed #5 -  Natural History Museum

The Blue Whale

12.30pm – We entered the Natural History Museum and was greeted by the gigantic skeleton frame of a Brontosaurus (I think). We decided to check out the Dino section first, so we started our tour at the Blue Zone. It was the first time I have ever seen dinosaur skeletons upclose…wicked!!! After that, we headed towards the other galleries which showcased Fishes, Amphibians and Reptiles (*yuck!*); Marine Invertebrates; Mammals and Blue Whale. The last one was pretty cool, because that was the first time I’ve seen a life-size Blue Whale, albeit it just being a replica. We then quickly trailed through the Green Zone where we saw various exhibits, including the Fossil Marine Reptiles, Birds, Primates and Ecology, among others; 2.30pm – Y and I got hungry, so we went to the Central Hall Café and had shared a raspberry muffin and white chocolate muffin, a blueberry yoghurt bite, and a bottle of tropical fruit juice. I think we got too greedy because we couldn’t finish the muffin (hehe!); 2.50pm – We made a quick stop at the “Visions of Earth” exhibit, which was the only thing we saw at the Red Zone, since we were running short of time. We also decided to give the Orange Zone a skip this time because it was the least appealing of all the zones. Made a brief stop at the museum’s souvenir shop before we left. 

T-Rex & Triceratop Skulls

Moon Rock

Checklist Item Crossed #6 – Science Museum

Apollo 10 Capsule

3.30pm – We arrived at the Science Museum, which was just a short walk away from the Natural History Museum. We didn’t feel particularly scientifically-inclined that day, so the visit was just okay. Besides, we were rushing through the galleries since we were only there for about an hour. I liked the “Making the Modern World” exhibit the best. The gallery chronologically presents 150 of the most significant items from the museum’s collections from 1750-2000. Fascinating. The “Exploring Space” gallery would have been equally interesting too, if only I had the time to stop and read all the descriptions of the exhibits. Maybe next time. I didn’t really like “The Science and Art of Medicine” gallery — it just had a creepy vibe. The Launchpad was kind of cool, it was the museum’s most popular hands-on gallery with 50 exhibits and shows. There were many kids running around trying all sorts of stuff; Y and I were no different, although I have always sucked at doing science experiments so it was more fun for me to just watch while someone got them right.

Checklist Item Crossed #7 – V&A Museum
4.45pm – Stopped by the V&A Museum. Well, okay…the only reason I ‘crossed’ this item out is because I had simply stepped foot at the museum, I didn’t exactly visit the museum properly as in checked out the galleries like I wanted to because we arrived quite late (not that it was far from the other two museums…) and wanted to get to Harrods before they closed. So, I ended up taking a few pics of the gorgeous statues at the concourse area and rested our feet at the John Madejski Garden behind the V&A Museum for a few minutes. Will definitely include this place in my next visit to London!

Checklist Item Crossed #8 – Harrods
5pm – Took a bus to Harrods at Brompton Road, Knightsbridge. The building was incredible on the outside and amazing on the inside! 6pm – Spent most of our time in the Food Hall. The things there are expensive, as expected. I only bought tinned candies for my mum and a couple of cold snacks for myself. In total, I spent less than £8 at Harrods, HAHA. 

Harrods Food Hall

Checklist Item Crossed #9 – Trafalgar Square, Nelson’s Column

PRIDE Stage & Nelson's Column

7.30pm – Sat by the fountain at Trafalgar Square. It was nice to get off our feet after a long day. The PRIDE London organizers were setting up the concert stage for the event that was going to be held the next day, and there already were several huge banners hanging on the walls around the area. Y and I just sat watching tourists and locals alike converge at Trafalgar Square as they probably do every Summer and took some more photos. We also waited eagerly for someone to step into the pigeon crap some 1.5ft away. We could see the Nelson’s Column if we squinted at the sun’s direction, and the National Gallery that we did not go to just a few feet away from the Square.

Checklist Item Crossed #10 – Covent Garden
8pm – We couldn’t find the way to get to Covent Garden from Trafalgar Square by foot for some reason, so Y decided it was best if we took the Underground train instead; 8.30pm – Finally got to Covent Garden. We watched a really good street performance, walked around and took more pics. Most shops had closed except for the restaurants and pubs, which were particularly busy given that it was a Friday evening; 9pm – Had a nice Italian for dinner at Bella Italia, spent about £10; 11pm – Arrived home, dead tired. Spent some time sending out emails to my parents and a couple of friends; 1am – Hit the sack.

This guy was really funny

Outside Bella Italia @ Covent Garden

“We are the best, so screw the rest
We do as we damn well please
Until the end, St. Trinian’s
Defenders of anarchy.”
- St. Trinian’s Theme by Girls Aloud

9.10am – Left Y’s apartment after having cereal for breakfast. Got on the train from South Ealing station to Madame Tussauds on Baker Street.

Checklist Item Crossed #1: Madame Tussauds

With Shrek!!

9.45am – Queued up at Madame Tussaud’s entrance. Since I was alone, I decided to befriend the girl standing alone in front of me. Her name was Zabrina, a young German girl who was travelling around Europe on her own. We decided it would be more fun to go around checking out Madame Tussauds together and save ourselves from asking perfect strangers to help take our photos while we pose with the wax celebs;  10am – Went around Madame Tussauds, starting with the A-List Celebrities section. Zabrina and I had fun taking pics of each other with Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, George Clooney, Shrek, The Hulk, David Beckham, Princes William and Harry and the Royal Family, and other famous figures; 12pm – Took pics with Barack Obama that I eventually paid £8.00 for when I bought it as a souvenir photo. I also took a pic with Michael Jackson’s wax figure (although I didn’t really think it looked that much like him…) and signed the condolence book that was available for the public to leave their mark in. Later on, at the souvenir shop, I bought a £4.50 photo frame for my mum.

Checklist Item Crossed #2: London Eye, Big Ben, Houses of Parliament & Westminster Abbey

London Eye

1pm – Took the train to Westminster, walked to the London Eye….oh, frig…the camera battery just died (and it’s only midday)!!! 1.30pm – I had purchased the tickets for Madame Tussauds+London Eye package via online before I left KL. It had cost me about £35.30 to get the tickets online, but otherwise it would’ve cost me £42.50 to get it on-site. Anyway, back to the itinerary…I redeemed my ticket for the London Eye attraction, bought £9.00 disposable cameras at a 2for1 deal from one of the independent vendors located at the site, and proceeded to join the queue; 2pm – Rode the London Eye, took lots of pics of Westminster area (particularly the Big Ben and Houses of Parliament) from bird’s-eye view. Skipped lunch; 2.40pm – Got off the London Eye and purchased a couple of items from the souvenir shop, walked towards Westminster Abbey for a photo op, while snapping a few more pics of Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament along the way.

Big Ben & the Houses of Parliament

Checklist Item Crossed #3: Marble Arch, window shopping along Oxford St.
3.45pm – Took pics at the Marble Arch. There were many people there, and more were starting to show up for an apparent outdoor concert or festival or something; 4pm - Walked down the famous Oxford Street, checked out some souvenir stores and Selfridges (my £230/5days budget did not permit me to make any purchase although some of the things there were rather nice…); 5pm – Met up with Y at Tenezis, located in a corner where Oxford St. and Regent St. crossed; 5.45pm – Had dinner at a Japanese restaurant – Y’s treat!

Checklist Item Crossed #4: West End Theatre

7.30pm – Watched “We Will Rock You” at the Dominion Theatre, my birthday treat for Y. Like most of the attractions tickets, I had paid for the show with my credit card online. I love how convenient travelling is these days!! 9pm – The show was okay so far, except for a few lame/boring bits. Felt too thirsty, so I bought a gigantic cup of pepsi for £3.00(!) during the midshow break; 10.30pm – The show ended with a nice and energetic full-cast rendition of Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody”. Walked around the West End/near Chinatown area, shopped for a few souvenirs. 11.3opm – Arrived home with feet on the brink of death. Showered and Zzzz….

My Show Ticket and the Theatre Stage

Outside the Dominion Theatre

Anyway. This post (and the several few following) details my trip to London that I went on a few days after I quit my job (don’t even get me started on that) back in July. I spent five glorious days checking out the city, half the time wandering around like a classic tourist on my own. It was the first time ever that I got to explore a new city unaccompanied and unchaperoned — not that I needed to be, I’m 26, for God’s sake!! (glares at my overprotective parents) And you know what? (continues glaring) It was FUN!!!

My trip began on July 1, 2009…..

First time flying with AirAsia X!

(Malaysian time) 7am – Checked in at the LCC-T airport, had breakfast at Marrybrown’s with my parents; 9.15am – Waited at the boarding gate, sent a flurry of “I’mleavingnow” text messages to everyone who knew about my trip; 9.50am – Flight took off, sat next to a tall, nice but quiet Icelandic guy and a Malay guy who was travelling with his family. Tried to sleep for awhile since I hardly slept the previous night (last-minute packing, see.); 12pm – Lunch was served. I had pre-booked the Chicken Cottage Pie via AirAsia.com when I purchased my flight ticket. It was okay-ish. I also rented Xcite, the AirAsia X (AAX) In-Flight Entertainment Set for RM30 and spent most of the time watching movies and TV shows. I couldn’t really sleep during the rest of the flight because we were travelling through different timezones….BACKWARDS!!! Which meant the cabin was kept bright the whole time and it was a 14-hour flight, mind you! (more on this later…); 8.30pm – Had a light dinner — some BBQ Chicken thing that I had also pre-ordered online. I didn’t really like that one; 9.30pm – We had to return the entertainment sets because that RM30 was only good for an 8-hour loan. We got to keep the earphones, though. Haha.

Xcite, the AAX In-Flight Entertainment set

11.30pm//(London time) 4.30pm – Arrived at Stansted Airport and queued up in the immigration line. Good grief, I never expected the weather to be that hot!!! Got through Immigration without any problem; 6pm – Got my luggage off the baggage carousel, checked out WHSmith which I found out it one of the major bookstores in the UK. Yay, bookstores!! 7pm – Had a cup of coffee and a piece of chocolate brownie while waiting for time to pass. I was to meet with Y after she gets off from work; 8pm – Took the Stansted Express  train to Liverpool St. Station. By that time, I realized I had not seen darkness/night time set for about 20 hours. That felt weird; 9.45pm – Met Y at the Liverpool St. Station and we got me an Oyster Card that would allow me to travel using the public transportation easily during my stay in London. We went back to her place in South Ealing via the Piccadilly Line. It was past 10.30pm by then, and the sun was just about to set….weirdddd!!!! 11pm – Arrived at Y’s place, took a shower and called it a night at 12am (5am Malaysian time — can you imagine how exhausted I was???).

“THEY ONLY WRITE THESE BOOKS BECAUSE THEY CAN’T DO THINGS SUCCESSFULLY ON THEIR OWN”, he continued, thinking he’s bloody clever by basing his opinion on the phrase: Those who can’t do, teach.

“Sure, because that’s why Donald Trump, Robert Kiyosaki, Warren Buffet and the likes of them wrote their own books. Because they suck at running successful businesses of their own.” I imagined myself spitting out those words at that idiot viciously. I honestly wanted to, and preferably with a little cussing just to rattle the old man to the core of his puny brain. But the peace-loving side of me prevented a nasty public argument. There’s no point in wasting your time and energy trying to enlighten someone who’s too dumb and negative to realize that those authors write because they are willing to share their knowledge and expertise with the rest of the world.

“DO YOU UNDERSTAND OR NOT???” he asked his son. Junior nodded and mumbled, “…mmyehaunderstand.” I choose to believe that his son only agreed because he realized it’s no use trying to reason with his difficult old man either. The curse of being a filial son.

But I trusted the kid to be smart enough to have his own mind. I hope he does. With that thought, I walked away feeling sorry for the both of them.

So I did this quiz thing after clicking on a link on Amazon.com and I’m glad with my results (although it’s never certain that online quizzes are accurate). I would probably buy this book simply because I judged it by it’s cover, or in this case, it’s title. If only life were that simple.

Still, I like to believe that life CAN be simple enough if you let it. Of course, it’s usually easier said than done, but it doesn’t completely discount the possibility of it, right?

Which is why I’ve decided that this year’s going to see some changes for me.

I think I’ve established in my earlier post that I’m not one to make a list of New Year’s Resolutions, because they tend to never work out. And that, I admit, is because I never really bothered to keep to them in the first place since I had been cruising into the comfort zone in my life before, so I figured, “Why do anything to change that?”

But seriously, you can only go so far with that thought in mind before your dreams catch up with you, and you start wondering where that passion for life and adventure had disappeared all these years.

So, sometime at the beginning of 2009, I came up with a list of what I wanted to do/get. I guess you could say I dreamt it and listed it. And then I did it.

If you were wondering (assuming you’ve been visiting my blog in the first place) where I’ve been over the past 3 1/2 months, I should tell you that I have quit my job. And I sincerely believe it might have been the best career (and life) move I’ve ever made.

I’m not going to delve into the details of how my working life was before, but I’ll tell you that it wasn’t going in the direction I had ever wanted to go. So, call me crazy or brave, but at the end of June, I left the company I was working for and went on to cross another item off my New Year’s Resolutions List — I went to Sweden! (the first was to get a car — I got a Perodua MyVi. )

I had the BEST SUMMER EVER.

I spent 3 1/2 weeks in Stockholm and travelling around Sweden with my cousins and hanging out with them, and I had such an amazing time, I’m going to try and save enough money to visit them again soon — if possible in 1 – 1 1/2 year(s)!

Right now, I’m back in KL, trying to figure out the next step in my life and I’m going to attempt to cross off the other items on my Resolutions list before the year ends. I’m also going to dream more, list more, do more, learn more and live more. And whatever the next step maybe, I vow to never go back to feeling like an organic robot that counts minutes from the time she wakes up until she goes to bed, just to get through another day. Because that, my friend, is no way to live.

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Aida’s 2009 New Year’s Resolutions:
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# Visit Sweden (I managed to visit London too!)
# Visit San Diego+Lake Tahoe (okay, this might be too much for this year)
# Get a new Laptop
# Lose weight (I really mean it this year!!)
# Get a new job
# Get a car
# Learn Swedish (in progress)